Not Really A Runner

If instead of a certain database administrator this person was known for refusing to talk to well-endowed women, he would be this.

Good luck with this jargon.

If instead of the last word in the title of the final installment of a popular film trilogy that just hit theatres, it were a phrase equivalent to saying, "Male cow??? Chief Snowsuit consumed it!", it would be called this.

What???

Bhe Beathly Ballows...

In honor of the seventh Harry Potter book coming out today, I have created seven bafflers. Each is only one word long, except the seventh, which is two because two people are going to erm... I won't say what's going to happen to them in-case anyone has been avoiding all things potter. Anyways, all of these are related to characters from the book...

1. If instead of this message carrier, it were a hair piece that you wore while sleeping.

2. If instead of this person's first name, it were a french word usually proceeded by "voyage"

3. If instead of this person's first name, it were the last name of a humor columnist whose first name was Dave.

4. If instead of this person's last name, it were a container for pickling cerebral cortexes. (ok, this one is sort of a stretch. It's the best I could do though...)

5. If instead of this person's first name, it were the disposal of sacks.

6. If instead of this person's last name, it were a hinged piece of wood that closed the way used by a certain type of bees.

7. If instead of a monicker for this person, it were a made up word for a ("small bite")2 (explosive)1

Now I'm ready for men's group in the ghetto...

Ok, no one seems to get my B4s, so I'm going to make this one real easy. Each clue for a single word is wrapped in () followed by a number indicating which word it is a clue for. So "hand lotion" is clued as (short martial arts weapon in place of the bottom front of your leg)2 (music makers)1 turns into "band boshin". Get it? Good. Here it comes:

If instead of what I went to get yesterday morning at the sheriff's office, it were (the purchasing of reason/logic/brains)2 by (some bread normally used to encase a burger)1...

July 12

If instead of being emotions of great delight that are caused by this event that happens every year 81 days ago, they were two seissup who celebrate the same entrance into this world day, they would be called this...

That would be like... a money tree... or something...

If instead of the name of this 80s group, it were some alcoholic beverages that gave birth to some more alcoholic beverages of the same sort...

Give up? Hints (as always with my posts, the hints get progressively more "spoilerish", so just read them one at a time and pause in between to really try and figure it out before giving up and going on to the next hint):

1. It's just three words.
2. If instead of the second word meaning "to give birth" it instead meant something else, that could explain why these beverages don't like to talk to each other, and must make friends with different alcoholic beverages instead.
3. If it were pronounced how it were written once b4icized, it could instead be that football players from a certain team carried other football players from this same team.
4. This football team is named after mammals who eat fish out of rivers and hibernate in the winter.

Letting you know... *updated*

If instead of the type of post this is that "let's you know" that I have added rules and a baffler baker to the blog, it were a (made up) one word title given to a decree that outlawed a small unit of measurement...


(Also, note that this is posted by "chris" instead of "BB". If you want "added" to the list of contributors, just let me know in the comments along with your e-mail address. Then when you post a B4 people will know who it is by instead of being by the anonymous "BB"... unless you want to be anonymous, then post away...)

Still stumped?

Here are some hints:
1. This unit of measurement is most famously used for drugs
2. If instead of the last part of this word, it were what happened to a steel pipe when super man got a-hold of it and wanted to show off (WHAT? A B4 *within* a B4? Is this history in the making???)...
3. (This one really spoils it) This one word title is completely made up, but the real word before b4icized is also a camp song

Update:
This one is really hard, and actually looking back doesn't make a whole lot of sense,
in fact, one might say this one is a terrible death to die... (yes, that's a clue...)